The ten things that made me say, “For shame, Bungie. For shame…”
10. They replaced the needler with a potato gun.
9. The endless product placements. I was okay with the Mr. Lube decals on the Warthog, but the cutscene where Master Chief declared he was “going to kick some extreme ass… right after I deal with my extreme thirst!”, and then chugged a frosty Mountain Dew™ was a tad gratuitous for my tastes.
8. To be honest, the whole gay love triangle subplot seemed a little tacked-on.
7. The way Master Chief took on an entire alien invasion single-handedly, and then, despite overwhelming odds, managed to emerge victorious. What is he, some kind of one-man army? Ludicrous.
6. Way too much Nickelback on the soundtrack.
5. I have a sneaking suspicion the only reason this one sold so well is because of all the people who bought it just so they could sign up for the Bratz Fashion Designer Superstarz beta test.
4. Only the people who dropped $130 on the Legendary Edition can unlock the “For The Same Amount Of Cash, You Could Have Bought Malaria-Preventing Mosquito Nets For An Entire Mid-Sized African Village” Achievement.
3. Cortana’s ongoing refusal to get her tits out for the lads.
2. The big plot twist where the Chief gets busted down to private right before the last climatic battle. Call me crazy, but ending an epic war trilogy with a potato-peeling minigame seems like a bit of a letdown.
1. Just didn’t live up to the high gaming standards set by 50 Cent: Bulletproof.
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21 Responses to "Top Ten Disappointing Things About Halo 3"
Il Rifle Uk Il says:
Nov 28, 01:42 PM...
...
Silence fills the empty grave…
Samir says:
Nov 28, 01:59 PMYeah this wasn’t very well done at all.
Doc P says:
Nov 28, 02:09 PMI actually thought this was funny. Well done.
stabbim says:
Nov 28, 02:30 PMDamn you, Nickleback!!!
:P
Stixxx says:
Nov 28, 02:31 PMI agree the gay love triangle subplot was totally tacked on.. case in point, look at the way the arbiter was at the end, he didn’t even say “why cant i quit you?”
SPARTAN 294 says:
Nov 28, 02:31 PMuh almost every single one of these was just a stupid joke that i really doubt made anyone laugh if your going to make some criticism make it constructive thank you also you sound like G4 who makes the stupidest jokes and dont even get me started about the E3 incident.
The Robotic One says:
Nov 28, 02:33 PMBuying a 360-300$
Buying a copy of Halo 3-60$
Bag of special blend drugs-200$
Making a review of Halo 3 while on drugs-Priceless
Joel says:
Nov 28, 03:05 PMHaha, I love halo 3 (and hate it), and this made me laugh, thank you
Sk1LLZ says:
Nov 28, 03:48 PMIn the amount of time you spent writing that sh17, you could have contributed something useful to teh interwebz
Frogwart says:
Nov 28, 04:00 PMI liked it! Your article, I mean. It made me laugh.
Me says:
Nov 28, 04:38 PMLame.
SwampFox says:
Nov 28, 04:59 PMchill people its just a joke, ya know for fun? som of you guys took it way too seriously. its funny
TTL Demag0gue says:
Nov 28, 05:31 PMY’know, I kind of like the ol’ potato gun. WAY better than the BR any day of the week.
f1r3r41n says:
Nov 28, 08:27 PMpotato gun?
Flashman says:
Nov 28, 08:33 PM#11: The proportion of Halo fans who can’t take a joke.
Grim says:
Nov 29, 12:29 AMWere your parents siblings by any chance?
William says:
Nov 29, 12:53 AMThe last battle was climatic? I didn’t notice any strange weather.
MCNano117 says:
Nov 29, 01:08 AMThis is stupid, written by a stupid person.
Daniel says:
Nov 29, 01:51 AMin reply to entry 7 of the top 10
obviously someone has not read the books and does not know of all the physical augmentations and exactly how powerful his armor is. Quit dissing John
Mags says:
Nov 29, 11:20 AM“The last battle was climatic? I didn’t notice any strange weather.”
Now that’s funny!
Booyatzee says:
Nov 29, 09:51 PMCan’t speak for any of the sourpusses and their overly critical responses; but it made me laugh and I enjoyed the comedy! Good stuff!