Angry Robot

Are you cats fucking?

No, you’re not, are you? You’re cleaning each other, late at night, in our flowerpot. You’re adventuring buddies, crime-solving sisters in black and grey – we don’t know your sex. No one’s interested in checking the genitals, and who can blame them? We don’t look to strays as models of germ-free living.

You won’t go away, now, not now of your own volition, now that you know a bowl of what passes for food will be distributed each day. Yet it grows cold, doesn’t it? This sort of compassionate indifference, that we specialize in here, it will no longer be enough. Although I would never abide your entrance into the warm sloppy shithole I call home – and no offence, germ-ridden mysteries, I’m allergic, you see, that’s why I scare you off like I do – I’m on my way out, myself. I’m moving out. You, I think, will stay. Either this is a testament to your superior coping abilities, or to the bigheartedness of my roommate friends here. They feed you, and talk to you. I will never do this.* Some nonverbal assent will be granted, near-imperceptibly; some informal contract will sign itself into being, gradually. And I’m not sure I’d object, were it my place to do so.

But I hope they clean your asses up first, you dirty little wretches.

3 comments on "Are you cats fucking?"

  1. Monster says:

    Greetings D, long time no chat. Had no idea you had such a distaste in your mouth from those cats/Leafs/whatever the hell they are called. Well friend, at least the end is in sight. Congrats on the new digs. Dont be so mean to those cats. Maybe they came into your life for a positive reason? I mean I hate cats myself and am also allergic to them. But it is nice to pet a pussy every now and again. To succeed and be fulfilled one must attempt to take something from everything and anything. Look back and take something from those cats, and then never look back. PS Good times the other night, thanks.

  2. D says:

    Yeah, I hate them in a sort of crusty-curmudgeon-with-a-heart-of-gold way. I really didn’t hate them, I’m just allergic (sounds like a confused justification for racism).

    And I see that they mean something to me – not sure what yet. And right back atcha, Monster! Hang out soon?

  3. Anonymous says:

    cats fucking suck fucking ass. they are nasty, ignorant, lazy, useless fucking bastards. i agree with anyone that hates cats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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